Right. There was supposed to be a post before this, but I skipped it totally to rant about the sheer absurdity and the fucked-up-ness of the Eragon movie. I will divide the negative points up into paragraphs. This is probably the most redundant post in the history of this blog and you don't have to read it, but I'm gonna write it anyway. Ok. Now I'm going to slam the screwed up casting.

1. Arya- Sienna Guillory
WHAT THE HELL IS SIENNA GUILLORY DOING AS ARYA?! Seriously, the asshole in charge of casting must be fucking colourblind!!! I take a direct quote from the book about Arya's elven beauty, "Her long midnight-black hair obscured her face, despite a leather strip bound around her head to hold the tresses back. Her sculpted face was as perfect as a painting. Her round chin, high cheekbones, and long eyelashes gave her an exotic look." See how I've put some words in italics? Yeah, those are the qualities Sienna Guillory doesn't have. Midnight-black hair? DEFENITELY NOT, SHE'S A BLOODY REDHEAD FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Sculpted face? Look, Samsie has a more sculpted face than that fucking Sienna! Round chin, eh? This chick looks anorexic for Chrissake!!! I don't even have to talk about high cheekbones and exotic looks- Lil' Miss Guillory looks like your average whore-next-door!!!

Okay. That was the only major problem in casting. Now, to rant about HOW THEY MERCILESSLY SLICED OFF HALF OF THE PLOTLINE... I really think they got the chronological order of events fucked up. I distinctly remember Brom dying way before they find Arya.. and how did Saphira grow from a mere pup to a full-grown monstrosity in like, a minute?! Ok. My impressive 'planned' rant is going to be cut short because my anger has dwindled in the course of this criticism. Over and out...

Toodle-pip

P/S: Maddi, you're making a big mistake if you watch Eragon. It's nothing like the book!!!


Another confession @ 9:43 pm