I just realised today how much I'm gonna miss you PLCians. Seriously, I am really going to miss you guys! To be absolutely truthful here (sorry if I damage any egos), I actually wanted to go to Melbourne after a while. When I first heard that I was gonna transfer I went ballistic. Totally. Completely. Ballistic. But that's a thing of the past. A few days before school ended, I was looking forward to going to this new PLC. And now, 2 months from Speech Night, the 24th of January 2007, I want to go back to the PLC in Perth!!!! OMG, I REALLY WANT TO GO BACK!!!! *breaks down in a flood of tears T.T * Okay, maybe I'm not drowning in tears of sorrow, but I get this hollow feeling near my heart, a physical feeling. I can feel this ache, (no, I don't have heartburn) this tangible burn whenever I look at the Boarder's photo, whenever I look at my white shirt with words scribbled all over it by my Year 7/8 and 9 friends, whenever I see an entry on my tagboard from Maddi, even when I see the word 'Pinky' on something in the stores. I think it's called Regret. Or Loneliness. Or Doubt. Or Anxiety. Or Sorrow. Or maybe it's just as simple as missing a loved one, or in this case, loved ones. I'm very sure that some people found me supremely irritating, bossy, condescending, or just plain weird. Some of those people I actually wanted to be friends with. I guess I tried too hard, then. But I hope that those few that hated me no longer do. Because while our hate used to be mutual, it's a one-sided affair now, it's yours. Even to Pinky, who will probably kill me if she sees what I've written previously about her on this blog, I actually miss you. You weren't the greatest chum, or the bestest friend, but you were fun. In a weird, stupid, fucked up way, I actually liked you. In fact, I still do. I hold no grudges against those that backstabbed me, or black-mouthed me. You know who you are, and so do I. But all is forgiven. God knows I deserved most of those comments for being bitchy. Anyway, as I said before, all is forgotten now. I am determined to keep happy memories of PLC.. of the people, the teachers (Falkner-sensei, Ms Daemi, Mrs Boyne, Mrs Hales, Ms Orrock, Nugie and little Nugie, Savery, Mrs Kowalik, Ms Gibson, Ms Ryan), the atmosphere, the food (yes, even the slop).. basically, everything. The little catfights, the tantrums, tears, homesickness, hate, love, joy, friendship, betrayal. All are happy memories, lessons to be learnt, obstacles to overcome as we move forward.

I know this probably doesn't mean anything to you 6SYians, but I just had to write this. I'm sorry for boring you guys half to death.

Toodle-pip

Another confession @ 10:22 pm

Name the name of one of your friends starting from A and ending on Z

Anthea
Bonnie
Charlene
Dione
Emma T.
Fann
Georgia
Hannah
Ian
Julia
Kat Scarff
Lynnett
Maddi
Natassia
Olivia
Pinky
Q
Rachel
Samsie
Tess Del Popolo
U
Viv
Wei Ling
Xin Rui
Yandao
Z

How many siblings does A have?
3. All sisters

What does B sms you about?
Um... I don't have her number -.-"

What is C's nickname?
Charlene McCartney

How did you get to know D?
By being in the same class as her for 2 years, and going out with her

How despo is E?
She is so not despo

How much older/younger is F than you?
I think she's 6 or 7 or 8 or 9 months younger..

Name 3 of G's best friends:
Rachel, Ashleigh and Clapin

Does H know I?
Nah. One's an Australian farmgirl, the other's a Singaporean geek. What are the odds?

What happens if J suddenly turned into your enemy?
I'd be DEAD

Under what condition would K and L get married?
If they were held at gunpoint by some triad gang, then yeah, they'll get married

How many people do you know with M's name?
Just one or two. P/S: Her real name is actually Madelyn

Do you enjoy talking on the phone with N?
Never talked to her on the phone before... >.<

Do you think O knows P?
NO. One's a St. Mary's freak, and the other is PLC's Queen Bee. Nup, P ain't gonna lower herself to such standards.

How geeky is Q?
I don't know any Q people.

Is R very popular?
People tolerate her, I guess

What happens if S likes you?
Then I like her back! What else is a girl to do?

Is T a very random person?
She's pretty bimbotic, and her behaviour can get kinda random

How are U and V related?
Ain't got a U friend, so ...

Do you take W as anything else other than a friend?
He came this close to being a boyfriend, but then that would be unrealistic, seeing as how fugly he is. And before he came close to being attached to me, he was my Stalker :p

When is the last time you met up with X?
Last last wednesday

Are Y and Z enemies?
I don't have a Z friend, so can't answer this either

Of A to Z which one do you love the most?
Okay. This is a hard decision, and I don't mean to hurt any feelings. But the one I love the most as a friend is... Maddi. The one I love as more than a friend.. well, I won't say.

Will you betray any of them?
Yes *grins evilly*

Have you loved and confessed to anyone from A to Z?
Well, I've loved one, and it's not the Stalker. I probably won't ever confess, seeing as she has a boyfriend. Yeah, that's it.


Right then. One quiz done. I hope that helped to lighten the mood of this blog :)

Toodle-pip!

Another confession @ 2:01 pm

This is probably the 'deepest' post that I've ever churned out. In fact, I don't think you'll even understand it.. it's more like a personal rant. There will be names that you guys don't recognize, and the sentence structure is going to be totally wack. Anyway, try your best, and remember, you can always walk away from this blog. Here goes...

"Don't let nobody tell you your life is over, be every colour that you are- Aly and AJ" I don't think one can be truly original. I mean, I've changed myself drastically to fit in. New wardrobe, strange accent, my attitude... why am I even telling you this shit? My life is so fucked. Angie probably hates me for leaving her stranded. I am so shallow. Look at it this way. A guy loves me, as in, really loves me. He loves the fake me, the one I created, the perfect me, the me I want to be. He loves that me, really really loves. And I don't want to tell him that I will soon never talk to him ever again because of Melbourne. This stupid moving, why do I want it so badly? Goodbye to Angela, John, Sav, Dude, Poet, Niz, Rain, Denv, Jason, Deth, Alex. My friends. The friends of my fake me. I am not beautiful. I am ugly- selfish, unkind, unfeeling. How will I break the news to them? I don't want to. Now leaving Perth seems like a horrible thing to do. All because of Angie and the rest. I have to get over them. But I can't. It's impossible. Ya know what? I seriously don't see any point of blogging. It won't help anything. Lindsay Lohan isn't helping anything. Nothing will help, can help me now. My alternate life is an addiction. A dark one. What can I do? Nothing. I just keep fabricating new lies, new interests, new things. Melbourne will be a new start. Who knows? Maybe I will come back in a few months and find all my friends gone. My life shattered. Will I be relieved? I think not...

Angie and the gang will probably never ever see this, and they'll keep on living in their fantasy world, with the perfect, beautiful me. The kind, funny, bold me. And I'll just wilt and die, retreat further into myself with every passing day, curse the world, and ultimately just give up on Life.

Toodle-pip...

Another confession @ 6:05 pm